He is either a complete moron or a comedic genius" - Fark. comFor years humorist Tom Nardone mailed a salvo of the world’s worst erotic letters to Penthouse Forum. None were ever published or even officially rejected. Frustrated, Nardone leaked his work to the Internet where they have received critical acclaim and over 1,000,000 page views. This collection includes his ten best rejected erotic stories. Read them to see how a simple subject like Penthouse Letters can be dismantled and reassembled as a truly funny genre. Forum Rejects is the perfect quick read for people who secretly enjoy erotica and irreverent humor. Here is an excerpt from “Louise at The Circus"I worked with Louise in a small office. The sexual revolution was in full swing then and Lou was always going braless. It used to drive me wild to see her great globes beneath the tight stretch material of her blouse. I used to imagine her breasts where two really fat elephants and her blouse was a circus tent that had collapsed. Damn if those fat elephants were trying to get out from under that blousy tent. One time while masturbating I imagined that I was an elephant tamer and I was prodding and poking those elephants with my elephant tamer tool. I imagined that if I managed to free those fat elephants from that circus tent that I would give them a good hosing down. You know that elephants like to be washed down and Louise’s fat elephant breast would probably like it too. Here is an excerpt from “Working Late"It was going to be a late day at the office. Our HTML directory had become mixed up with the sectors that control the server farm. We were sunk. Becky and I would have to spend the entire evening loading 8 1/2 inch floppy disks into the hard drive. This was going to take forever. “What a bitch” I exclaimed. Becky sat up straight in her airfoil office chair. “Not you” I said with a laugh “This assignment is going to take all night.” I’ll be up until 3 in the morning doing it.“I wish I could have a man that
